grey hair

As in the day of Madame de Pompadour, gray hair is actually popular again. Unfortunately mine is natural. And way too whispy. This from the girl that used to have "all that hair." You know a man told me once that when women enter their 50's they go through and  ugly period which they come out of in their 60's. I wanted to bop him at the time. But now that I'm there I feel it's true. There's nothing  I can do to look good.

I've gained weight. My hair has fallen out. This is menopause. And it's really hard on the ol' body. I don't know if my hair will ever come back. And since quitting the Dark Lady Diet Shasta I'm only more hungry. So the weight issue is still an issue.

I told my friend Elyce that we were brought up way too concerned about how we looked. And she agreed. But not with the enthusiam I would have liked. I feel absolutely burdened by expectations about my looks, and I just think, doesn't who I am matter a whole lot more?

I hate leaving the house looking the way I do because I hate giving in to being an ordinary middle aged woman. How vain is that? But I've always been extraordinary and being ordinary is hard for me. I just struggle with it. Why at this point in life am I doomed to be ordinary?

These feeling are not at all in harmony with the "My Magnificent Life" theme. So I keep hoping this is temporary. I keep thinking my hair is really growing back in, all evidence to the contrary. I tell myself I'll lose weight while I snack on pecans. And I take webinars on how to draw on the perfect eyebrows....