my window

Here is the view of my magnificent life! This is what I see when I write this blog. Only it's winter now and everything is covered with snow. I love this homely view; it's homey to me. Past the tall grass of the meadow lies a year round creek. Often the meadow fills up with deer.

This is the view I will look at as I attend law school. I've been accepted and have decided to go. I don't really know what I'll do with a JD once I have it, but I believe that will be revealed when the time comes!

I've taken my first class in the Foundation course, and it was really interesting.

This Saturday I go to a retreat with my life coach Katie. There will be six other women there. We will be planning our intentions for 2016. There will be vision boards. Besides keeping a B average at school I want to continue this blog. I haven't prioritized it for awhile because the Holidays always put me into another space/time.

But losing my lovely dog, Polly, reminds me how wonderful my daily life is, and I need to focus on that miracle by writing here. Because you can lose something  you love so quickly. I also want to finish typing the last few pages of my play. I want to sent it to Edie and Earl just to see if they'd consider putting it on.

I don't think it's their type of thing. Too dark. But they are the only game in town so I'll have to give them a shot. Anyway so much in my life gets done in front of this window!

loss

 I lost my beautiful dog, Polly. I think she was 14 years old but she had always seemed so youthful that I just thought she was younger. Up until a few weeks ago she could jump into the bed of the truck without the tailgate being down! Then a couple of weeks ago, right after we got back from the Bay Area, she started trembling and suddenly lost the use of her back legs.

I took her immediately to the vet but he thought she had just strained her back and put her on some pain relief. I knew something much worse was wrong. Soon her appetite diminished. We tried all kinds of treats, chicken and rice, wet food, special dry food, strips of raw beef, and as could be predicted she was interested at first but then turned away.

When Steven was up, he got her to eat pretty well. But he was her boy. She wanted to please him. When he left she wouldn't eat at all. Then she began throwing up everything we got down her including water and pills.

We had had xrays taken and no bone cancer was evident, but she started to develop sores all over her skin. I knew she had to be relieved of her suffering before the weekend. When we took her in the last time the doctor finally believed she had cancer. He saw all the sores and said her whole innards were full of those same tumors.

Polly made a heroic last attempt to walk to the truck and into the vet's office after needing to be carried for several days. I think she trusted us to be taking her to a place where she would find relief. She even smiled when she walked into the examination room. She was happy to be with Richard and me and we spent a few minutes with her before the Doc gave her a tranquilizer. Then she quickly fell unconscious licking Richard's hand one last time.

We left her at that point. But I know what happened. Her spirit left her body and saw us crying in the truck. Then she felt euphoric and as real as if her whole life had been a dream. She moved toward a tunnel of light where she felt great love. Probably she was met there by Sophy and little Joe. And maybe by Foxie and Sheila too. All is well for her now.