my window

Here is the view of my magnificent life! This is what I see when I write this blog. Only it's winter now and everything is covered with snow. I love this homely view; it's homey to me. Past the tall grass of the meadow lies a year round creek. Often the meadow fills up with deer.

This is the view I will look at as I attend law school. I've been accepted and have decided to go. I don't really know what I'll do with a JD once I have it, but I believe that will be revealed when the time comes!

I've taken my first class in the Foundation course, and it was really interesting.

This Saturday I go to a retreat with my life coach Katie. There will be six other women there. We will be planning our intentions for 2016. There will be vision boards. Besides keeping a B average at school I want to continue this blog. I haven't prioritized it for awhile because the Holidays always put me into another space/time.

But losing my lovely dog, Polly, reminds me how wonderful my daily life is, and I need to focus on that miracle by writing here. Because you can lose something  you love so quickly. I also want to finish typing the last few pages of my play. I want to sent it to Edie and Earl just to see if they'd consider putting it on.

I don't think it's their type of thing. Too dark. But they are the only game in town so I'll have to give them a shot. Anyway so much in my life gets done in front of this window!

loss

 I lost my beautiful dog, Polly. I think she was 14 years old but she had always seemed so youthful that I just thought she was younger. Up until a few weeks ago she could jump into the bed of the truck without the tailgate being down! Then a couple of weeks ago, right after we got back from the Bay Area, she started trembling and suddenly lost the use of her back legs.

I took her immediately to the vet but he thought she had just strained her back and put her on some pain relief. I knew something much worse was wrong. Soon her appetite diminished. We tried all kinds of treats, chicken and rice, wet food, special dry food, strips of raw beef, and as could be predicted she was interested at first but then turned away.

When Steven was up, he got her to eat pretty well. But he was her boy. She wanted to please him. When he left she wouldn't eat at all. Then she began throwing up everything we got down her including water and pills.

We had had xrays taken and no bone cancer was evident, but she started to develop sores all over her skin. I knew she had to be relieved of her suffering before the weekend. When we took her in the last time the doctor finally believed she had cancer. He saw all the sores and said her whole innards were full of those same tumors.

Polly made a heroic last attempt to walk to the truck and into the vet's office after needing to be carried for several days. I think she trusted us to be taking her to a place where she would find relief. She even smiled when she walked into the examination room. She was happy to be with Richard and me and we spent a few minutes with her before the Doc gave her a tranquilizer. Then she quickly fell unconscious licking Richard's hand one last time.

We left her at that point. But I know what happened. Her spirit left her body and saw us crying in the truck. Then she felt euphoric and as real as if her whole life had been a dream. She moved toward a tunnel of light where she felt great love. Probably she was met there by Sophy and little Joe. And maybe by Foxie and Sheila too. All is well for her now.

time

So like another year has come and gone. And in many ways this was a really good year for me. It started out with the cleaning out of Barb's hoarder cat lady house. Truly one of the worst places I've ever been in. Then I went to life coaching which turned out to be really worth the money. Then I got this Mac computer which has changed my life. It is so easy to use.

Then I went to see Paul Rodgers which was a life time dream. We went with Steven and Ash so it was really special and fun and memorable. Then I went to Seattle to visit Elyce. That was a wonderful trip. Then I applied for law school.

Finally I attended the Micro Play workshop in SF. That was really great and inspirational. Christmas has been lovely and tomorrow Steven and Ash come up for a visit to start the New Year on a high note. The only down side has been spending 1000 dollars on my dog and still not knowing what's wrong with  her!

My goals for next year are to complete a year of law school and to only buy four rings, one for Valentine's, one for my anniversary, one for my birthday, and the last for Christmas. This will prove to be a huge restraint over my usual 30+ rings per year! Yes it's true; I have a huge collection of rings! 

white Christmas

After several years of virtually no snow at all, we in the Sierra are overjoyed to have a white Christmas this year. Yet what is it about a white Christmas that makes it so desirable? Well I think because it is pretty and cozy.

And the snow has a way of covering up everything and silencing the world. And just one day a year it seems right that the world should be shut out and silenced. And we as Americans should concentrate on peace on earth, good will to men.

I really hope to have a holy day. I want to stay at home and appreciate my husband and my many blessings.

As for presents, I got a beautiful pink night gown from my friend Vicky. It's covered with flowers and is a little long. Richard told me I look like a Gustav Klimt painting so that was twice a gift. Richard already gave me the best present of going to the play writing seminar which was super fun.

Another great gift will be a visit from Ashley and Steven. They will come up after Christmas for New Years. I hope by then it will stop snowing so that they can make a safe drive. Amazing how demanding we creatures are of our universe!

internet

I had a frustrating day with my internet service provider down for hours. I ended up calling for technical help three separate times. Finally I just went into their system and put myself on a new channel which is working really well now.

I'm not a computer wiz by a long shot but if you walk me through something I'm pretty good at remembering passwords and sequences of steps. So I just helped myself so to speak.

The question is is this ethical? I'm not sure I'm supposed to be on this channel. I mean maybe it's fine or maybe it's for people paying a higher fee each month. Who could say? It's just that I'm so fed up with the bad service that I'm willing to take things into my own hands.

At this point I think I'll just enjoy the service for a while. Maybe later I'll call tech support and confess my crime. Surely I can't be the only one who's thought of this? Not that that makes it any less criminal. But not having the internet drives you to take desperate measures. We are all hooked.

pageant

So I attended my mom's  Christmas pageant this morning. I go every year. It's the only time I spend in church anymore. There is something compelling about watching the little children dress up like shepherds and little kings. I myself remember playing Mary in several pageants many years ago,

I like singing the old Christmas songs too. My nephew was the narrator in today's pageant. He was quite a pro. He's been doing this for many years. My sister Marty played the violin. She was a pro as well. She's been doing this for many years as well.

Usually we have a couple of angels and a wise man or two as well, but this year none of the far away kids could make it. My mom had the Children's Choir singing really well this year. It was great to hear that. We all made attendance a sign of support for Grandma meaning that Kai, Ceci and Caroline were there as well.

So anyway this is a pretty cool event. People spend lots of time and energy on it. It's a greaat experience for the kids. There's something special about being an angel or Mary at Christmas time that makes Christmas feel even more Christmassy. Sort of magic really. When you're young. And attending a pageant brings that all back in a small way.

simplify

So it's Christmas. And I'm trying to deal with it on practically no budget. I've figured out what to give the extended family but that still leaves my closest nearest and dearest. Some thoughts on this have come my way lately. The new Pope says to make the "more humble purchase" and recently I read a daily devotional that spoke of freeing ourselves from "artificial needs" in order to live more simply.

In another article I read a statement that "buying begets buying." Which seems to me to be true. One thing calls for another. But I can't use my need to simplify as a reason not to give gifts to my family. And the joy of Christmas comes from the giving.

What I usually do is find something beautiful or unique for Steven and Ashley and Richard and then let them order something they want online. I'm anxious because I haven't found anything for them yet. I know they look forward to that hand chosen gift under the tree each year.

But I do have one last chance to find what I need. I go to the doctor in Reno on Dec 23. While I'm there I will go to the antique store and try to find three perfect things. A tie tack, some cuff links, a box, a ring, something small and special. I will meditate that these objects will be seen clearly by me so I don't spend all day looking for them. After all I have to go to Costco for Christmas food!