They were both about old romances coming back to haunt you. I read them both this weekend. The first and older was Effi Briest by Theodor Fontane. In this story a 17 year old Effi is married off to a middle aged aristocratic bureaucrat. He is a rather small minded man who doens't appreciate Effi's effervescence. And she is faithful to him in her fashion which is to say she had a brief affair with a charming Major which she then ends it only to start life anew in Berlin faithful to her husband and daughter.
Seven years later, by a series of misfortunes, her husband comes across her old correspondence and discovers the affair while she is out of town. He goes back to their old village, demands a duel with the Major, shoots him dead, puts aside his wife and turns their child against her. Needless to say she pays the ultimate price by dying at age 25 back at the home of her parents who have given up society to welcome their disgraced daughter back to their home.
The second book was Out of the Dark by Patrick Modiano. Here the story is narrated by a man who is haunted by a brief four month love affair he had with a young woman when they were both 20 years old. The story takes place in both Paris and London during the '60's. Although the narrator is haunted by the events of the relationship, the woman, Jacqueline seems to be unscathed by the past. She has even changed her name. The narrator sees her briefly after 15 years and then glimpes her another 15 years later and while he is profoundly affected she seems unmoved. She has reached her goal of living well and spending a good deal of time in Spain.
The narrator pays no great price for his lost love. He's a successful writer and seems to be well enough if somewhat lonely. You get the feeling he wouldn't have been much happier had he married Jacqueline. They would have divorced anyhow.
Concerning my old love affairs I can only say I am happy to be more Jacqueline than Effi. Effi is a child of the Romantic era. She feels too much. Why in the world did she not burn those letters? Jacqueline uses people to get what she wants. And she loves them in passing. I'm not that cold hearted. As I love love love my husband. But as for old romances, I really think that they should be things of the past. To be remembered for the good times but not moped over. Thank God society has caught up with this sentiment and no longer shuns women for their romantic escapades.
The whole romantic myth is based on the idea that you need someone else to make you whole and magnificent. When really true love is based on a partnership of two magnificent individuals hooking up and becoming more than the sum of their individual selves. I really see this now. But I had to go through a lot of romantic suffering to get to this place. And you have to live through it to get beyond it I guess. But being finished with romantic suffering is a benefit of being in your 50's. I turn 54 this month and that was the age that Rilke died!
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