life's a beach

So I'm sitting at my kitchen table wondering who am I? And that old fad phrase "Life's a beach," runs through my mind. I grew up in Honolulu so the beach seems like a good place to start. What kind of beach am I? Well I wish I were that kind of grand coastline in the picture of Big Sur at the top of this post. But I'm afraid I'm really just this kicky little watercolor of umbrellas.

Noble coastline-NO
Kicky Umbrella pic-YES

As Katy, my old life coach, would say, "What's so wrong about being a Kicky Umbrella pic?"
Nothing. There's nothing wrong with it. Except. Except it's light weight. You know. For instance I just found out that I did not win a poetry contest. Granted there were 15,000 entries so it was sort of like a lotto, but still if you don't play you don't win. Anyway I lost. My poems were about Angels and flowers. They were (are) pretty good poems. Really. But I can't get anyone to publish them except the Plumas County Calendar that my sister edits and begs me for filler. So what should I do? Eat? Pray? Love?

Anyway back to my kitchen table and to the premise that I will just allow the magnificence of myself to overcome and change me. I got two calls. The first was my friend, who gave me the job I just quit, asking me if I wanted to go to a class on mindfulness, I agreed being glad that she was still talking to me. And the second from my mon inviting me to eat dinner with her and my stepfather, Greg, before watching the 2nd Republican debate. I agreed to that invitation as well.

The woman who wrote the book I just read says that all you have to do is be yourself and allow the universe to give you everything. I know there must be some action involved somewhere in that formula but I have yet to glean what that would be. Other than eating lunch with said friend because I want to do something nice for her being that she took my quitting her job so gracefully (the mindfulness class is tomorrow) and watching the republican debate, I'm doing nothing. As I posted on my other blog, I've changed all my rings to my blue sapphires for my birthday month. As Katy says, "Take turtle steps."

I'm not learning very much about myself that I don't already know. To take stock. I'm light weight. I love jewelry. I love flowers, clothes and furniture too. I'm lazy. I don't keep a clean house, I don't cook regular meals. I love love love my son and my husband. I love my friends and large family too. And I'm trying to figure out what the rest of my life is supposed to be about. I think it's supposed to be about being magnificent. I think we all get to be magnificent. But I don't know how to get there from here. I'll let you know. I'm doing this experiment for us all.